Chris Morris Music Shows Episode Guides by TJ
01/06/1994 - [On paper the show may look like a list of records, but on air it's an activated warhead. It thrives on its profound disregard for its consequences]
Chris Morris persuades John Selwyn Gummer MP to record the news a day before it actually happens, discusses Max Clifford's handling of the Lady Buck episode, reviews some drug books, and threatens to repeat a libel that cost the BBC ?,500,000 in damages. "Call 1FM" speaks to Katie Boyle about animals and justice, and Peter Baynham raids Emma Thompson's trash can. Coming up next - The Emma Freud Show, with drug addicts fighting over a gramme of heroin.
[No music listing for this show yet, sorry!]
08/06/1994 - [Playing records and shouting, and continuing his bid to save the network]
Chris Morris hears John Prescott's labour leadership campaign song, listens to some of Enoch Powell's greatest speeches, reads out some celebrity whore news, and interviews newsreader Martyn Lewis ("photography - look under F!"). Radio 1's "Newsbanger" celebrates the fiftieth anniversary of D-Day, and there's a feedback report on the problems posed by ephemeral dogs, while Paul Garner invades a shop and Peter Baynham noses through Glenn Close's trash can. All this and the return of the Cow Quiz too!
Music - Prince 'My Name Is Prince'/Deee-Lite 'Groove Is In The Heart'/Pavement 'Cut Your Hair'/ Salt'n'Pepa 'Shoop'/ David Byrne [?]
15/06/1994 - [Continuing his bid to save the network]
Chris Morris uses his responsible position as a Radio 1 DJ to help those less fortunate than himself, by revealing exam questions to callers to 1FM's Exam Line and conducting a Feedback Report on stomach velocity. Meanwhile Peter Baynham examines problems on railway lines, and Paul Garner causes problems in another shop. This week's Kiddies Outing: Richard Littlejohn.
[No music listing for this show yet, sorry!]
Chris Morris has been sent a tortoise to autograph by a listener. Peter Baynham has removed it from its shell. While they're on the phone to the vet, you can hear Wayne Carr interviewing 2 Unlimited, a review of Billy Bragg's appearance on "Newsnight", a discussion on the growing rift between Mike Smith and Keith Chegwin, and news of a compensation scheme for farm animals.
Music - Arrested Development 'Fountain Of Youth'/Massive Attack 'Unfinished Sympathy'
Chris Morris is not happy - he lives in a world where people get up on the bus too early, hi-fi salesmen fail to appreciate music, and Peter Baynham smiles a lot. Still, at least he's prepared to do his radio duty and bring us the Sock Quiz, an interview with Slash from Guns'N'Roses about strikebusting, more hard-hitting views from Sergeant Murphy, and the latest exciting news about Prince Edward and The Rolling Stones. The show also includes details of the Radio 1 Butcher Exchange, a Feedback Report on irresponsible saucepan behaviour, and if there's no news at 21:30pm, Chris will be straight on the phone to Newsbeat to find out why, while Paul Garner searches for the news in a newsagents. This week's Kiddies Outing: Peter Sissons.
Music - The Teardrop Explodes 'Treason'/Blur 'Tracy Jacks'/Rolling Stones 'Rocks Off'/Pulp 'Lipgloss'/Beck 'Beercan'/Arrested Development 'Fountain Of Youth'
06/07/1994 - [The programme that hits the air like a 7-litre Ford Capri driven by a speedfreak mandrill]
"This is BBC Radio 1FM and if there is any news of the death of Michael Heseltine in the next hour, we'll let you know". Never one to shirk from the more unpleasant duties connected with his position, Chris Morris sets out to update Radio 1's Heseltine obituary tape, recording new contributions from Jerry Hayes MP and The Jam's bass player Bruce Foxton. If there isn't any news of his death, though, you can hear Feedback Reports on vertical meat and circular teeth, Peter Baynham's guide to goods to keep you cool, Paul Garner bothering yet another shop, and a fax from Travers McCorkindale, who has lost his grip on reality. But if there is any news, we'll let you know.
13/07/1994 - [Chris and Peter Baynham gargle bats]
[Not transmitted - Chris suspended]
20/07/1994 - [Chris reveals the secrets of donning your own beard - so don't miss it]
[Not transmitted - Chris suspended]
27/07/1994 - [Try the new religious quiz, Beat The Bishop]
Chris Morris presides over news of compulsory hand signals for pedestrians, Peter Baynham checking towns, a Feedback Report on noise attendants, the dance chart, and a tape of his own attempts at going clothes shopping. There's a chance to win some 1FM Windscreen Wipers, and an exclusive preview of the forthcoming 1FM Masonry Week. All this and a declaration of war on Geese too!
[No music listing for this show yet, sorry!]
03/08/1994 - [Chris develops a taste for chocolate starfish]
Chris Morris continues his bid to explore the real issues affecting the nation today as "Call 1FM" tackles Christianity and pornography with the aid of Cliff Richard and Don MacLean, and there's another listener's letter, Paul Garner in another shop, and news of an art exhibition featuring frozen tourists. This week's Kiddies Outing: Esther Rantzen.
Music - Dodgy 'Melodies Haunt You'
10/08/1994 - [This week's comic offerings are written by Iggy Pop Barker, Suke Matterhorse, Maypedazz Jones, William Pixies Harness, Hi-There Basilcock and Skingsley Hoopmutton]
Chris Morris despairs for the lengths to which some people will go for money, as he plays a bootlegged tape of REM's Japanese whale meat commercial. Meanwhile Peter Baynham, fresh from rifling through Robert Palmer's trash can, examines an increasingly mounting body of evidence suggesting that Stephen Spielberg does not actually exist. In between comes shock news on Health Secretary Virginia Bottomley's plans to introduce an organ-sharing scheme, equally shocking revalations that most timber used in the construction of houses has only been rented, Fishing News, a Feedback Report on furball atrocities, Paul Garner searching for humanely-stored toilet paper, and Nick Ross interviewed by Keith Richards.
17/08/1994 - [This week, Peter Baynham flies Germaine Greer to Dartmouth]
Peter Baynham's in Edinburgh, but Chris Morris isn't, and this week he looks at Stephen Hawking's voice-over fortune, Enoch Powell's speech archive and 90mph Police Constables. Neither is Paul Garner, who's creating mayhem in a shop that TV weatherman Michael Fish is also using. "Call 1FM" tackles manners and crime, plus there's an exclusive report on Michael Jackson firing Paul McCartney from The Beatles, news of the Government's plans to stop people not inhaling when smoking, a live report from Richard Branson's house where celebrities are arriving to watch him have a heart attack, Brett Anderson with the 1FM Fag Lighter, a Feedback Report on neck legislation, and a chance to hear Emma Freud's progress on the guitar.
Chris Morris listens intently to Peter Baynham's tales of his experiences at the Edinburgh Festival, where he saw Mike Smith's stand-up show and ran along the street, although Chris is personally more concerned with the fate of his own car and garage. Between this come plans to expel unruly prisoners from prison, news of new Babygrin Dentures, Paul Garner getting obscene names read out at Gatwick Airport, Princess Diana making a silent phone call, Professor Stephen Hawking's voice-over fortune, a run-down of Bank Holiday Events (including Re-Birthing, Belch-Smelling and a Child Auction), and the long-awaited findings of 1FM's Sound Advisors.
Chris Morris believes that the use of performance-enhancing drugs should be allowed in the Olympics to make it more interesting. Even so, it would never be as interesting as Wayne Carr interviewing Peter Stringfellow, Paul Garner at Heathrow Airport, Theatre Dementia in Edinburgh, Phil Collins on the studio floor, an amusing anecdote about Ice Cube's London concert, or the latest news from the 1FM Sound Advisors. This week's Kiddies Outing: Fred Trueman.
Music - Ottowan 'Hands Up'/The Sex Pistols 'Pretty Vacant'/Suede 'We Are The Pigs'/The Velvet Underground 'She's My Best Friend'/??? 'It's A Shame'/Nirvana 'Smells Like Teen Spirit'/REM 'What's The Frequency Kenneth?'/Ice Cube 'It Was A Good Day'/Orange Juice 'Bridge'/Suede 'We Are The Pigs'/Oasis 'Live Forever'/Prince 'Race'
14/09/1994 - [Anarchic comedy and cabbage flaps]
[Not transmitted - repeat instead]
21/09/1994 - [Anarchic comedy as Chris decides to get hip, and announces that he is a sister of Sappho]
[Not transmitted - repeat instead]
28/09/1994 - [God Bless Peter Baynham]
Chris Morris is back from his holidays, and is playing Phil Collins to celebrate! He's also brought back loads of presents, including a stuffed duckling for Peter Baynham, and some instructions on how to upset shopkeepers for Paul Garner. There's also a chance to win a 1FM Dog Lock if you can send in a dead local radio 'eye in the sky' reporter, a Feedback Report on gut festivals, a heart-wrenching letter from a musician, news of Michael Heseltine and Norman Tebbit's journeys by tube, and a warning about an escaped terrestrial dolphin. This week's Kiddies Outing: John Patten.
Music - Omar 'Keep Stepping'/Sub Sub 'Ain't No Love'/REM 'What's The Frequency Kenneth?'/Talking Heads 'Found A Job'/They Might Be Giants 'XTC Vs. Adam Ant'/Suede 'We Are The Pigs'
05/10/1994 - [Tonight, with a later slot in the schedule, he can be even more outrageous than usual]
Chris Morris wants to know how to make tennis more interesting. Peter Baynham doesn't want to buy stuffed duckling. Paul Garner wants airport tannoy announcers to read out childish names. A pity, then, that they have to sit through an hour's worth of "Call 1FM" grilling Carla Lane and Gary Numan about foxhunting and humanity, out-takes from the Estonia Ferry disaster (and some jokes that Nicky Campbell made about it), news on REM's desperate tactics to promote the floundering "Monster" album, and a special preview of Anna Pasternak's 'controversial' book on The Princess Of Wales. Chris gets so angry about this that he breaks a cart machine, which starts to sound alarmingly like Keith Richards falling over...[This show was transmitted at 23:00pm instead of 21:00pm, to allow for the transmission of a Blur concert]
Music - Oasis 'Cigarettes And Alcohol'/Elastica 'Connection'
12/10/1994 - [Another hour of dangerously anarchic comedy]
Peter Baynham has found veteran DJ Johnny Walker dead on the floor of an adjoining studio. Chris Morris wants to reanimate him for the benefit of his fans. The British taxidermy industry turn down the chance to preserve him for exhibition, but the French are far more accomodating. All of which slightly lessens the impact of the new Beatles single, a Feedback Report on wide face trouble, a review of the TV pilot of radio's "The Moral Maze", Paul Garner's shop antics, and advice on how to stop riots. But they transmit them anyway. This week's Kiddies Outing: Jim Davidson.
Music - REM 'It's The End Of The World As We Know It'/Elastica 'Connection'/Dodgy 'Melodies Haunt You'/The Kinks 'Autumn Almnac'/Kid Creole And The Coconuts 'Annie I'm Not Your Daddy'/Suede 'New Generation'/XTC 'Making Plans For Nigel'/Soul Coughing ë©£creenwriters?Blues?Oasis 'Cigarettes And Alcohol'/William DeVaughan 'Be Thankful For What You've Got'
Chris Morris is not best pleased to discover that Johnny Walker's body is still on the studio floor, perhaps explaining his vitriol as the show races through reviews of a biography of The Prince Of Wales and a new video entitled "Old People Walking Off Cliffs", a Feedback Report on hair speeds, an explanation of the legal situation surrounding cyclists with no lights, Wayne Carr interviewing Whigfield, attempts to buy a gun from a toy shop, a discussion on Radio 3's treatment of contemporary music, Paul Garner's usual shop bothering, and an advert for the amazing new American foetal workout import The Gynasium. PLUS! Enter the special Christmas Competition, and look out for the supermodels on a cherry picker.
Continuing his quest to highlight the real issues facing today's youth, Chris Morris phones the 1FM Drugline to enquire where he can get some heroin. Peter Baynham, on the other hand, is in Leeds, where he is touring with Geoff Capes and posing as a Councillor to fool some students who cause an alarm to sound whenever they mention the homeless. Between their commendable efforts come a recording of Madonna reading AA Milne, revelations of DJ sleaze, a Feedback Report on brick service, live coverage of Craig Charles' bail hearing, a listener's letter about kissing a dead girl, Paul Garner wreaking havoc in a shop, suggestions of how congestion can be lowered through car size limits, and shocking news of plans to force dentists to nominate the eight teeth that they will treat at birth. This week's (censored) Kiddies Outing: Michael Portillo.
Chris Morris may be a shining star of the new 1FM, but he is also concerned about the fate of the deposed 'old guard'. To raise public awareness, he and Peter Baynham highlight the plight of Simon Bates, now reduced to performing "Our Tune" for spare chance on the streets of London, and eating human flesh as part of his late-night television chat show "Live Bates". Meanwhile, those who are actually still on Radio 1 being you shocking news about the congestion caused by Recognition Storms, Wayne Carr's interview with Frankie Valli, Frankie Valli's publicist complaining about Wayne Carr, Chris Morris complaining about Frankie Valli's publicist, Paul Garner conducting another tannoy attack on an airport, a look at David Copperfield's most amazing stunts (including bringing back a cupcake from the centre of the earth, and waggling a pen to make it look as though it's made of rubber), a Feedback Report on spherical cattle, and Peter Baynham's poorly conceived new feature Peter's People. And remember - it's Bonfire Night on Saturday, and fireworks may be fun for you, but they can terrify your pets, so make sure the bangs are loud enough to drown out their petrified howling.
Music - Elastica ë©Œonnection?Happy Mondays ë©šinky Afro?Stereolab ë©¬ow And Flutter?War ë©›ow Rider?
[Not transmitted - repeat instead]
16/11/1994 - [With some unsuspecting interviewees and more dangerously anarchic comedy]
Feeling left out of this parenthood lark, Chris Morris sends Peter Baynham out to steal a baby to appear on the show. They then dress it up as a fly, attach some helium balloons to it, play it some satanic music (by Sting), and push it from the window to float back to its mother. Chris also phones Peter's dad to tell him what has happened. There's barely time for a Feedback Report on hinge abuse, Paul Garner in a hotel, a report on Simon Mayo's features moving towards the centre of his face, or news of the new fashion sensation Boneless Apes, but they appear all the same. Also featuring a profound, helium-assisted apology to Frankie Valli. This week's Kiddies Outing: Cilla Black.
Music - Nirvana ë©‡ll Apologies?The Laë© ë©— Canëª Sleep?Stereolab ë©¬ow And Flutter?Edwyn Collins ë©‡ Girl Like You?De La Soul ë©e Myself And I?Bronski Beat ë©— Feel Love?The Lightning Seeds ë©Œhange?
Chris Morris and Peter Baynham (who thinks he's at sea) look at some of the proposed uses of the Millennium fund, and they aren't impressed. Neither are they particularly taken with the long-awaited new Stone Roses single. To help cheer them up, why not phone and vote for "The Day Today" in the British Comedy Awards? While Paul Garner tries to get some rude names read out over an airport tannoy system, Chris and Peter will be listening to Wayne Carr interviewing Edwina Currie, news of new safe cigarettes, a Feedback Report on people who tie knots in their faces, the dance chart, and a review of Michael Heseltine's appearance on the "Today" programme. This week's Kiddies Outing: John Tusa.
Music - The Rolling Stones ë©¬e Love You?Ash ë©ªncle Pat?Parliament ë©‘lashlight?The Stone Roses ë©›ove Spreads?Stereo MCs ë©Œonnected?Suede ë©¦he Power?The Beloved ë©–ello?The Pixies [?]
07/12/1994 - [Including international tannoy contributions from Awilbi Faywed, Aheffbin Fayed and Babayev Rijboerdie - and more unsuspecting interviewees]
Still reeling from "The Day Today" winning an award, Chris Morris has Meatlof's nasal mucus, and the bidding starts NOW! Peter Baynham is on coffee alert as the two look at unusual burglar alarms, Grace Kelly crash footage, a letter from a street sweeper, Paul Garner's latest hotel exploits, a depressed newspaper cartoonist, the ease with which Bruno Brookes can be persuaded to perform flimsy on-air links, and "Call 1FM" asking Marje Proops - is science out of control?
Music - KLF Featuring Tammy Wynette ë©™ustified And Ancient?Oasis ë©¬hatever?
Chris Morris is doing his last-minute Christmas shopping early. Peter Baynham is pretending to be a snail. Somehow, the two approaches combine to bring us news of an amazing video of Bruce Grobelaar swerving in mid-air, a Feedback Report on knotted faces, a guide to essential bath-related Christmas gifts, Peter Hammil's interview with Tony Parsons, and news of Alan Rickman's plans to raise money for the homeless by touring Britain in a wheelbarrow. Not to mention Paul Garner getting threatened with arrest. Whoops! This week's Kiddies Outing: Bernard Manning.
Music - The Lightning Seeds ë©Œhange?Galliano 'Long Time Gone'/kd lang 'Constant Craving'/Oasis 'Columbia'/The Breeders 'Cannonball'/Dodgy 'Melodies Haunt You'/Gil Scott Heron 'The Revolution Will Not Be Televised'/Arrested Development 'Africa Inside Me'/The Only Ones 'Another Girl Another Planet'
21/12/1994 - [Pre-recorded 24 hours in advance for the censors but with new profanities added secretly on the day of broadcast to show them who's really in control]
Chris Morris is lost in a world of showbiz glamour, film premieres and flashing lightbulbs as he interviews Donald Sinden, Simon McCorkindale and Petula Clark at the "Night Of 200 Stars". He also has some serious doubts about the story of Christmas, which first confuse but later convince Peter Baynham (who, incidentally, believes that it is entirely possible to smell turkeys in some shops but not others). Elsewhere in the show fall interviews with Max Clifford, Teddy Taylor and Richard Clayderman, Parliament swapping shirts football-style, news of the imminent boiling of major cities, Emma Freud eating dolphin sandwiches, and Paul Garner going classy in the Waldorf Hotel.
Music - Suede ë©žew Generation?Lightning Seeds ë©Œhange?
Two Boxing Day hours in the company of Chris Morris and Peter Baynham for lucky listeners. Ten Boxing Day minutes in the company of Paul Garner for a not so lucky taxi driver. No Boxing Day at all for Jimmy Saville, apparently...
Music - Buddy Holly ë©¦hatë l Be The Day?Blur ë© arklife?The Teardrop Explodes ë©¦reason?Parliament ë©‘lashlight?The Lightning Seeds ë©Œhange?kd lang ë©Œonstant Craving?Arrested Development ë©‘ountain Of Youth?Aztec Camera ë©¬alk Out To Winter?Public Enemy ë©’ive It Up?Crash Test Dummies ë©mm Mmm Mmm Mmm?Dee-Lite ë©’roove Is In The Heart?Beck ë©Šeercan?The Moody Blues ë©žights In White Satin?New Order ë©¢egret?Sly And The Family Stone ë©‘amily Affair?The Auteurs ë©›enny Valentino?Kid Creole And The Coconuts ë©‡nnie Ië¢ Not Your Daddy?Suede ë©žew Generation?Stereo MCs ë©£tep It Up?Ice Cube ë©—t Was A Good Day